Navigating New Twitter

On his first day, Elon Musk kitchen sunk into Twitter knowing exactly which people he needed to keep. Like any good new honcho, all the people with “demands” had to go. They made it easy. They chose not to make their new boss understand why they are essential. Instead, they ambiguously mapped their own exits. 

Who needs a bunch of whiny employees? Elon needs people to be on board with his work ethic. Just like Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, he needs to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in his beloved overpriced Bird. 

Do you maggots understand that?

Time, Inc understands. They immediately published the pompastic Twitter demand letter in its entirety. The contents proved a disservice by laying out a list of reasons Twactivsists should be pink slipped. 

If memory serves, more than once I’ve been the sanctimonious do the right thing person when new management arrives. Boy, it’s a good thing the new bosses canned me right after I expressed my views. I’ve always been a bit of a rebel though. Back in high school I got fired for refusing to cut my mullet. True story, I was a dues paying union member grocery store clerk. The UFCW was powerless to help me in my plight to have hair below my collar. 

I was a fool for thinking I could effect change. 

I’d like to go back in time and tell myself not to be the pious cause person, I really would. I’d tell myself to learn how to be an operator. I wouldn’t listen to myself because I was me, but that’s not important right now. 

Being on the morally correct side of an argument like this usually means you’ll win by losing since most people aren’t wealthy enough to navigate the inevitable ensuing career suicide. And that might be why I remain the white-collar equivalent of a ditch digger today. 

Among the epic narcissistic self-indulging claims, of the demand letter, “As we speak, Twitter is helping to uplift independent journalism in Ukraine and Iran.” That’s pretty funny, considering one of the first orders of business for Time’s person of the year was shutting down the free press. Since 95-100 ish percent of Ukrainians only get their news from television, taking control of TV was a no brainer. Almost no one but NPR noticed. And even that didn’t get much engagement.

Step one on the road to freedom? Negate – sorry, “consolidate” -- the fourth estate. Duh. Because misinformation. And even NPR is on board for that action. And while he was at it, our man of the year Zelensky “dissolved” his opposition. Twitocrats are uplifting freedom like spider monkeys on crack. 

All this virtuous signaling only proves the smug, entitled version of collective bargaining is a farce. When people start thinking they can mutiny because pet bereavement leave is yanked away, bad things are headed the shareholder’s way. But who cares about making money, we are in this for social change!

There’s a disturbing pattern emerging with entitlements and ownership. Most people don’t understand the economics of running a business let alone the risks involved. There’s also the burden of building something on your own. Risking it all and walking away from the comfortable job. White knuckling payroll, assuming massive debt and, in general, defecating a chicken when unintended consequences occur. That’s not something you can explain to people. You have to live it. 

The entitlements are out of control and a course correction is needed. People have to start earning it again but the problem has become bigger than inflated benefits. 

Twitter employees have banded together to make themselves irrelevant. They aren’t on the right side of anything, least of all defending their own hegemony. After colluding with political parties and the government to censor information access and consumption, they are suddenly worried about being persecuted for their political ideologies or, “beliefs.” 

Each side is convinced the other is out to get them. What a mess we’ve created. 

A long time friend and early Google employee and I used to laugh as we looked around at the 24/7 food and beverage service, pet privileges, housekeeping and general pampering employees received. If they ever had to get real jobs we’d joke, they are all hosed. Well, maybe not Twitter employees because they’re freedom fighters. 

C’mon man. 

While celebrities continue to ceremoniously exit, the traffic and engagement they brought with them continues. Google continues to index and list their content, Meta is an admitted propaganda arm of the US Government, but the nauseating sanctimony will go on as long as Sir Elton’s first ever farewell tour. What “recent change in policy” led to the Rocket Man abandoning the other Rocket Man? I’m not sure but Dr. Jay and Jen Sey are still getting muted, so maybe that’s what he meant. 

What a load of horse pucky. All of it. 

Elon Musk was a tolerated evil by the popular media for a long time. After all, he was making electric cars. He was saving the world and a Greta fan for Chrissakes. I don’t get it, maybe I should have stayed on the farm and listened to my old man. You can’t lock me in the penthouse, I’m going back to my plow.

The Elon villain arc is in full effect and the Silicon Valley character assassination sealed the deal. Even self-declared populists from Long Island are finding fault with Elon, but the sudden disdain for Valley culture coming from the same Valley people is the ultimate agenda driven hypocrisy. 

I could have made this piece about Twitter employees, but the problem is bigger. Sure, the systemic Silicon Valley libercrat monoculture is a big part of the pickle in which we’ve found ourselves. The greater problem is the one that feeds delusion and mass hysteria. People whose instincts tell them to look in the other direction when the crowd tells them to look at the latest shiny object are the solution, not the problem. 

We also need to stop marketing victimhood via media coverage.  Actual victims of the world are diminished every time we condone this nonsense, but they will never “demand action” because they are too busy suffering. We must stop treating people like they are entitled to being billionaires because they work a four-hour work week far away from the actual world. It may not solve everything, but it’s a good start. 

Also, Die Hard IS a Christmas movie. I don’t care if it was released in July. It was the 80’s and if it didn’t have pole licking or Santa in it, people wouldn’t buy it, so go forth and be your best John McClane.